Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize