did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
