I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
