i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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