Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
