The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
