how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
