New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She made me pour olive oil on her.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize