Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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