Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
