its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
