I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
