you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
