wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
