went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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