So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
