margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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