Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Randomize
