I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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