she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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