We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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