I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
