Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
