she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
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