is your mom at the bar?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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