Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
