her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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