you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize