i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
