people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
