did you get engaged???
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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