My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i came on her dog
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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