I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Everything about him screamed your future.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
