its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize