ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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