He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
