The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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