just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
