thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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