normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
