I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
