she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
whose ass print is on the piano?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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