just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
