farters have to be the big spoon...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize