If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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