I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
