The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
