It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Drake has all the answers
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
