I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
