So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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