We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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