I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Randomize
