in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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