the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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