My room smells like vodka and shame
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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