He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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