we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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