you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
