It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
