u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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