Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Randomize
